Monday, September 6, 2010

Monday, Momday - Party Trauma

 "wacky party" image via Martha Stewart
Can I make a confession?  I really, really don't like having people over to my house for any sort of party...oh sure, a few girlfriends over to watch an awards show, or to swoon over Tim Riggins & watch an ep of Friday Night Lights, or an easy afternoon playdate - great! But dinner parties, birthday parties, stinking way...I just get too stressed and by the time people arrive I'm pissed that they accepted my invitation (and really isn't a restaurant more fun anyways? Better food and someone cleans up after you, no?)...usually this isn't a problem, when you have to have a toddler to bed by 8 it's pretty easy to sidestep having people over...until the arrival of said toddler's birthday party (which happens to be in less than a week!)  Year one I attempted the big shebang and spent more time planning and executing than actually hanging out with the birthday girl, year two went much better ( an afternoon playdate party and then just immediate family over for the actual day) and this year we have similar I'm you go for the blowout? are you super Martha and have beautiful theme parties? when did you switch from mostly your friends to mostly their little buddies? are you a home partier or let someplace else do the work for you??  Inspire me girls - I need to conquer my fear by next year ;)


  1. I feel you on this. I like small gatherings. The big ones, I get lost, I get stressed and I never fail to feel like people didn't have fun at the party. It's a sickness. I know. You're not alone :)

    Every year, I think it'd be so easy to just go to the birthday bouncy/train/playplace insta-party but I always go back to something at the house 'cause it's more personal. I dunno, I think as my kiddos get older we'll be doing more activity-based parties like at a rock climbing place or skating rink. Then I'll bring gorgeous food and supplies and come home to a not trashed house.

    I have the fear too. :)

  2. i was forced to have a party for little E last year by friends and family. consequently, it was only a family party plus one BFF and her daughter. i did however host an "all out" playdate themed "it's fun to be one" two weeks after her birthday. so many of her friends are the same age, so it was nice to have a party for which she was NOT the center of attention.

    someone recently told me that when she was growing up, the rule was you got a friends party every other year and an immediate family (mom, dad, and siblings party) at home celebration every other year in between. my parents didn't throw us parties when we were kids. just family days or bring a few friends to the movie theater type thing. my mom even once threw a joint b-day party for my little bros - one an early feb and another a late april birthday. ha!

    anyway, i think there's too much pressure on parents to be party coordinators extraordinaire. just do what feels right to you!

  3. We do the every-other-year friend party (with a family party on the off years), too. It works out well. I love, love, love a Martha Stewart-esque party and always get ramped up to do it, but am usually exhausted by the time the party rolls around. My kids and the people who attend have lots of fun but I'm usually running around like mad. I think I like the party prep better than the execution! With the off years of having mellow just-family parties, it seems to balance well for all, though...

  4. i started inviting mostly her friends when she started school. this year was the first time i did it at home (she turned 5) but only because it was planned for an outside location and the day was very stormy. don't think i'll ever have it at home again. i spent the following day (her actual birthday) cleaning and had no time or energy for her.

  5. I have done both. I do remember the last one we had one at home, my husband spent the whole party grilling some wonderful food and missed the entire event though everyone raved about it. Then the cleaning... I hate to clean! However, last year was at a kids arcade/ pizza place and the food was so toxic, I felt guilty as well as the scenery so over-stimulating, poor Lu was like a zombie! I think the smal at home ones are great but am completely incapable of going crazy overboard. Next year, I plan to have it at the Young Chef's academy where a small group of kids can cook and enjoy the treats there and get a little apron to take home. No fuss, no muss.

  6. Before going crazy on a party, wait until your daughter is old enough to remember/appreciate/and HELP! :)

    Some of my favorite birthday memories are spending countless hours with my mom planning, choosing a theme and then picking up little things to carry it on through the day. If you make it an event the two of you can bond over, that's the best part! One year we had a Troll birthday party (I'm such an 80s baby), totally DIY but I'll never forget it!

  7. Keep it simple sister...
    I feel the exact same way, but have followed this motto for the past two parties and they have been epic successes!
    (Happy Birthday Miss L!)
    Email me if you want some simple ideas for tots... :)


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